Well, the time has severely passed me by. I can remember being thirteen like it was yesterday, and being 7 like it was this morning. Ush, where ever does the time fly to? Is it going to Georgia for the winter, and then next april it will just suddenly reappear, adjusting back to that one day in the sixth grade where I wore Good Charlotte patches and dyed my hair fuchsia? Maybe it comes to Texas, since that's where I've found myself recently. Surprisingly enough I've been here for about seven months now..longest I've ever lived away from home, not in the same vicinity as my mother or brother, and most recently my grandmother. I mean, I AM living with my cousin and her pseudo boyfriend. I mean they've been dating for six years now, except he's technically never "asked her to be his girlfriend". A little weird considering that they both have promising real estate careers ahead of them, (each both very exsocentric and smart people, creative beautiful losers if you ask me, but that's what makes them so perfect for each other. ) however, tylar, (his nickname deriving from Fight Club, his real name being Paul) i just think he has underlying issues. Severe underlying issues. But he has such issues as to, well honestly I really have no idea, so essentially I wouldn't think he could ever either. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy to death; he has a great personality and he's hilarious beyond belief, but come on Tygy, just ask her already.
ANYHOW, texas, eh?
Who'd a thought...definantly not me! I swore never to come back to this hell forsaken dryer dust shithole ever again when i was 7 years old. But Austin's nothing like El Paso, or like any other part of Texas for that matter. I've actually come to make some pretty good friends here, and managed to swoop up a little boyfriend as well..a real gem if I do say so myself.
(side note: I've only had two boyfriends in my life, both of their names starting with Ky or Co and last names being Smith..weird?) Either way, this year has defiantly been a doozie.
1. Great idea of moving to New York and pursuing my career as a high fashion super model, one of which makes me want to pull my teeth out for not actively trying my hardest..there's still time right?!
2. In this great surge of social energy, decide to visit my best friends for them to bid me adieu, since I would be gone on the east coast, most likely traveling to europe and asia within the next year.
3. Fly to seattle, spend time with KAtie and both of her roommates..one of which being her exboyfriend ex alcoholic, the other being her current boyfriend current opiate addict...Appeitite for destruction? Oh need i mention she WAS the one with whom we "discovered" ourselves, smoking pot when we were thirteen, stealing my cousins clove cigarettes, and spray pairing AXEL onto torn t-shirts..alternative right?
4. None the less having the time of my life with the ultimate wardrobe, katie worked at st.vincent de paul and has a knack for styling anything that is alive, or dead, I was to zoom to San Francisco and tell my other best friend Michael I was utterly whole heartedly, tree sappingly in love with him.
5. Not because I wanted to be with him, but because I WAS moving far away, and he had recently been diagnosed with leukemia..(side note 2: I knew I was in love with him before I found out he got sick, I just always wanted to deny it because he disgusted me so much, or so I thought.)
6. Get to San Francisco, HAVE A BLAST, my first bender!! Eventually his girl comes to town, super akward since he tells me how much he was in love with me, ( during the first time I'd ever played wizard staff none-the-less) but now we could never be. I sob to him how much I love him and how I wanted him to take my virginity as opposed to that god forsaken danish dickwad, he obviously 13 cans deep at this point, exclaiming to everyone how we had a threesome, but softly whispering in my ear, " I would've done it, you know this"
7. Me realizing it's faaaaaar too late, not that I would've wanted it that way anyway, but moreso dealing with actually FEELING; and feeling my heart being ripped out, shoved into a bottle, thrown off the golden gate bridge, found again after traveling 30,000 leagues, frozen in antartica, and frost bitten, oh and it's also been so malformed by being swollen and frozen it's expanded in the bottle and exploded just enough to crack the glass but not break the bottle. ( At least it had a return address)
8. Getting kicked out of your "best friend's" bed (once he's divulged his heartfelt emotions that supposedly never existed in such a weird introvertedly extrovert) because he can't stand not holding you, and most likely getting a boner since he knows his super young super dumb girlfriend is on her way as we speak makes you feel REALLY GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF! So then you just go sit on the stoop crying your eyes out more than you can ever feel in your entire life watching a weird hipster take photos of a soaking, bedbug ridden lazy boy on taylor st. SUPER COOL MICHAEL.
9. SO you end up sleeping in his best friend, my new bosom buddy's room; he has a comfort complex and would always sleep in a sleeping bag naked, topped off with a magical wool blanket
(9a. RObby, ultimate girls girl, not gay a lick, but so BOSS! One night after we all watched rosemary's baby, i fell asleep before the ending, mind you, waking up (not to mention to two blonde weirdos standing over me, I in such a state of thinking that they were conspiring me to fall into Rosemary's place, really /i was convinced) and crawling into robbie's room, only to find he can't tell if he had been sleeping for the past two hours or just lying there imagining he had been sleeping since it was so dark in his little room it looked like the inside of his eyelids. None the less, I hear velcro wrenching,( when I was in the bed he would sleep in little board shorts so I didn't feel uncomfortable) and breathing heavily stating, " I'm so HOT!"... Of course robbie, you ARE bundled up in a slumber comfort tube of death on a splendid 77 degree night in the goldenest state of the union...silly robbie, party pails are for life!)
10. My first major purchases were 30 packs of tecate with my ever so resemablent fake id, ( Thank you Anjuli Bedi!) and giant bags of knock off cocoa puffs, cigarettes and chocolate doughnettes...oh the life.
11. THEN having my first fling to (unknowing to myself at the time) push away all these awful feelings with one of the most beautiful humans i've ever touched, a little short but bradpitt, more beautiful than brad pitt, magical mustache bars boy EVER. ( oh my gatson, my first mustache ride!!) Through a blear of 3.59$ whiskey every night, sweet talking the liquor store merchant into not charging me sales tax, and making sweet love with him all the while, these were the BEST DAYS EVER. I loved making love in the back of his dodge, waking up to naked and bakin in the days where the weather was so superb that it made it a toast factory in the trailer covered big red.
12. Long story short, I have unprotected sex 3 times and get an STD.. WAHOO! Inevitably learning lessons I would never forget plus more, then one day trying to escape my mess and rid myself of thoughts of the PERFECTness of this beautiful disaster(Michael, Austin, the beautiful beautiful boy man)
13. Waking up IN austin..texas that is what a coincidence..and now I'm here. I've gotten my second job ever, pay my own rent, have my own room, and to which to my dismay? I see people getting PAID for their blogs? How do I get on this band wagon? Do I just keep pouring out my true teenage stories, since I will no longer be a teenager in a matter of hours anyhow, these can be considered "VINTAGE" and get me farther ahead in the game? Do I need followers? Or just a lick of luck? I don't know but I know that if all these other sick fuckos can do it, I can just tell the truth and see where it gets me...I could do a couple hundred dollars for some true life shit, Shit, just give me a chance.
