i live the see and the see loves me

my skin is really warm almost all of the time here..
i'm not complaining but it's jsut weird feeling! and transferring from air conditioned all day, then having moments outside cleaning up cups or colleting checks or overall bussing tables or seating a holes, the warmth actually feels really nice. I never thought i'd say that but hey, whats new. So today i felt like i was actualyl in hell. i felt the feeling of the physical feeling of what it may be close to being in hell would feel like. I was riding my bike over the bat bridge and i swear it feels always like its shaking like it's going to collapse, and i picture sometimes myself speeding REALLLLY fast across it, just making it over the edge of where it cracks off and then i make it and i live. but today i thought i couldve fainted on my bike. and then i started thinking about how someone would find me laying on the corner with my bike all sprawled out and like, trying to figure out who i was ahhahahah..i guess in theory this is funny but in actuality it's not really? oh well, i thought it would be funny.
but then i got to work and ate my sandwhich and realized how hot it really is and its not really that funny.
but it is funny when the server asked the old man how his rice pudding was and he said

"gummy"
Gummy?"

ahhahaha i couldnt stop laughing..of course, what's new..
but hey at least i'm getting some good material out here...i guess that's the whole purpose of this mission..new flavours, new material, bring it back home, then feel what it feels like to be alone, but then feel what it feels like to be somewhere where i am never alone becuase i have the ocean air and the breeze circulating everything, my thoughts, my breathes, my skin molecules, everything.
i think being landlocked in corporates the following:
no body's breath is ever passed very far away, maybe it is because it's so windy here sometimes, i guess that's what it has going for it here.
every ones mental energys and all that gunk just get recirculated back into the ground because it just absorbs it beucase, it just does.
whilst when somewhere near the ocean it allows it to carry it to far away lands and so on and so forth and vice versa..i mean i believe that here maybe it's just different people's energys from like, alabama and kansas that's being recirculated, and maybe that's why it feels so weird here.
or maybe this isn't the reason at all maybe it's just in my head which it probably is but what isnt anyway?
ANYWAY
when i was riding across the bat bridge i actually for a second tried to rationalize if this is almost what hell could feel like..in theory, it's really fin hot there, that's pretty much all i could compare being here to being like hell..it's really not that bad, but i'm supposin it's just not for me this little place called texas.
i like to refer to it as the devil's gooch, cause it dang well feels like it!

i just feel like, not like i'm not happy being here, beucase i am very happy with jenny and its really very nice to see here, but, i don't think i'm bound for land inclusion..
EVER.



i wish this song was longer and not from a weird ace cartoon only on at 3am about hillbilly squids..

what the hay america