what does it feel like to let yourself go

not literally, but quite literally. or maybe more so figuratively? i'm not quite sure..not like in the sense of you stop caring about yourself, i.e. hygeine, habits, general train of thought, you know, the typical way typical people typically think of the phrase,"letting yourself go". maybe more so in the sense of surrendering completely to your senses and your sense of self. what you want, what you dont, how you feel, how you dont, what you love, what you dont, if you do, then follow through...you know? not holding back, not letting one moment go unsurpassed by being "afraid" of whatever it is that you may be afraid of. being in love? not being in love? spilling your love feelings to the one you love and them not loving you back? or maybe never even getting a chance to spill those little beans. knowing and accepting that you're a beautiful human being on the inside and outside can go towards this statement as well. one may be hesitant to the truth behind the statement. not unusual. however, once you get past the fact or the idea that it is not unusual to believe that you are the most beautiful thing inside and out, life gets a little brighter. the trees are greener, the wind feels not as hot, more of a refreshing twist that adds onto this godforsaken heat wave of a place where, yes, the locals say it's just going to get worse. aint' that a crummy statement.


"don't worry, if you think this is bad, it's just going to get worse."


haha well sheeshe, id sure hope not! not necessarily thinking about this statement in regards to the weather, but in the things in general. generally it's been used to my ear in reference to the weather, since it is over the top and i stopped looking at the weather forecast before i ever left san diego. BUT, generally, i knew what i was getting myself into with coming here, but not really. i really did not know what to expect, and i still don't. but i suppose that goes with everything i do and choose to do and will do forever and ever til death do us part until i die. and it's not that you're being consided or cocky or anything like that..its just when you truley believe in yourself and what you're capable of, then maybe that's one of the stages of letting yourself go.




and it's thundering and lightinging and i think it's about a hundred degrees. ain't that some stuff